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wrapping my dick and balls in velcro so that if they swing too errantly i can simply catch them using one of these

look at this absolute angel. she loves laying on my lap or as close to me as possible but she doesn’t like a lot of other ppl they scare her. she had lots of bad experience with humans before i liberated her from my family

this concept destroyed my world makes sense that this keeps happening

@xmakina the amazing thing is I looked it up in the OED before I tooted, and they only list the sandwich and a historical Indian

@xmakina I just need to know if that amiga game really came with a free sandwich

@xmakina Literally had this design on a t-shirt i won as a kid for writing why i loved the hero turtles in 30 words or less.

David: *plays a secret chord*
The Lord: “Damn son where’d you find this?”

*furiously punching numbers into a 10-key calculator* 🧮😥

OH NO! i've just mathematically proven that it is in fact definitely All Men. every single one of them. i've triple checked the numbers and it all adds up!

*slowly raising a lighter to the calculator's paper printout* 🔥📃

no one can ever know this terrible secret they all kinda already know. . .
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Mastodon for Tech Folks

This Mastodon instance is for people interested in technology. Discussions aren't limited to technology, because tech folks shouldn't be limited to technology either! We adhere to an adapted version of the TootCat Code of Conduct and follow the Toot Café list of blocked instances. Ash is the admin and is supported by Fuzzface, Brian!, and Daniel Glus as moderators. Hosting costs are largely covered by our generous supporters on Patreon – thanks for all the help!