where were you when you found out the UK's track and trace software (which cost 12 billion quid) has excel as a backing database

sadly there is a backlog of cases which were untracked because they exceeded the excel row limit

worry not, they have solved the problem and are now using two excel files to keep track of people

@trickster hello UK government I will write you a python script for making new empty excel spreadsheets for the low price of three million her majesty's british pound

@Dee for the low price of 6 billion pounds i will assemble an army of medieval scribes that keep track of the cases on cured sheep hides

@trickster it actually exceeded the *column* limit! If they had used rows instead they might not have had a problem.

Well, they would have had problems, just not that specific one. 🤣

@zalasur @trickster for a few more weeks perhaps... Anyway, the issue is that they're handling data like this with excel. It is pathetic.

@trickster even more hilariously the issue doesn't even seem to be specifically excel, but that someone was exporting .csv files to .xls files which is the old office 2003 format and can only have ~60K lines instead of the ~1 million.

so they used OLD excel to do it. just making matters worse :angery:

@trickster stuff like this always amazes me because it would take more effort to do it wrong then to do it right.


Brits: *invents computer*
Also Brits: *doesn't knoe how 2 use it lol*

@Lofenyy see, this is why i tell my kids these newfangled computers aren't worth much, just use an abacus, no limits on that

@trickster You just reminded me that in high school, we weren't allowed to bring calculators into our exams but we could bring a freaking abacus.

I was honestly tempted to do so, but I liked my teachers and had no idea where to even get one.

Exam room: *near complete silence*
Suddenly: *clack clack clack!*

@trickster Also, you sound like every math boomre I've ever met who don't understand what "turing complete" means...

They think campotor iz 4 loading pictures off the tele-network.


The agent mopped his brow. "What do you call the show?"

"The Technocrats!"

Isn't it literally less effort to use a real DB than Excel as a DB?

@trickster the graphs on Google were pretty interesting earlier, with the way that it added the now-recognized cases. I’m not sure about their approach with what they’re showing now — they’ve removed the past couple days for now? #covid19 #uk

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