Steve Mays @smays@mastodon.technology

“Early on I made up my mind not to die of anything but old age. Stopped smoking because I was afraid of the cancer. Swore off booze because I was scared of driving my car into a tree. Gave up hunting because I was scared of blowing my own head off. Quit chasing trim because I was afraid of being murdered by a jealous husband. Shaved the odds, is what I set out to do. Missed out on a ton of fun, but that's all right. All my friends are planted in the ground and here I am!"

— Basket Case (Carl Hiaasen)

Quarantine?

Hail smaller than golf balls but not by much. Sounded much larger pounding the roof. Getting an Old Testement vibe these days.

David Brazeal. Still the funniest person I know.

My MacBook and my iPhone knows when I have my AirPods in. I'd like a way to let others on my wifi network (everyone or specific individuals) know this as well.

As our worlds get smaller, I'm reminded of these photos of the old Missouri Penitentiary (now empty and crumbling). The oldest west of the Mississippi.

What, I wonder, does someone confined to a small cell for many years or the rest of their life, think about limited confinement. More photos:

https://flic.kr/s/aHsj4V3h9M

I use to joke that if I had nothing else to do for six months I might -- just might -- learn to play the ukulele. We'll see.

https://youtu.be/nn6IySSpw1E

Bisbee, AZ

Grandma's Camera (James Lileks)

http://www.lileks.com/about/camera/index.html

The math doesn't work but this might be Steve Martin.

"Could it be that our purpose is to tell a story, and that the better lived a life is, the better the story that survives after you’re gone?"

-- Dave Winer
http://scripting.com/2003/12/31.html#areYouYourStories

"SquirtCheez has a long and illustrious history as a metaphor for the human experience. Homer called it the “nectar of fat and happy Olympian consumerism.” American colonial preacher Jonathan Edwards, in his most famous sermon, noted that SquirtCheez is the only source of sustenance that will explode upon being thrown into the flames of hell."

-- David Brazeal

"This has also been good for me to discover which businesses still have my email address from a purchase I made 7 years ago."

I have seriously neglected my hunting and gathering skills for 50 years.

They say "It's times like these when you find out what you're made of." At 72, it's too late to find out what I'm made of. There's no time left to do make anything better.

[Going for the joke here. There's always time to make things better]

Should read "now centered"

"The biggest hardship right now is that all my usual hypochondria, normally spread out over my entire body, is not centered in my chest and lung area."

-- David Brazeal

But we find ourselves soaking in negative thoughts and — if we’re lucky — have a moment of awareness.

“Whoa. I must have hit the red button. A couple of times.”

All of which goes to explain why people report constantly hearing me muttering, “Green button, green button, green button.”

Imagine having a couple of buttons on your desk. Let’s say, red and green. And every time you walked by you could press the red button for a negative/angry/fearful thought… or the green one for a positive/peaceful/uplifting thought. Wouldn’t last long, just a few seconds or a minute or two.

Why would you ever push the red button? You wouldn’t, not if you thought about it for a spit second. You’d wear that fucking green button out.

Continued...

Fortunately I only have to be self-quarantined two days. The first day and the last day.

-- Avon Barksdale

Well, he didn't say those exact words, but...