Ok, so. I have a blog. Blog lists an e-mail address. So I get SEO spam requests. "Dear R, I read your blogpost <url> and I really think it would benefit from the link to my post <url>".

The post being peddled is inevitably just dull or bullshit. It's only purpose is to rack SEO for the main domain, that always sells some shitty service or another.

I usually ignore such e-mails…

…but this time the guy is really persistent. And is getting on my nerves.

So, I have an idea. And I want to know how bad it is.

I want to respond with:

"""
Hi,

thanks for reaching out. My going rate for a link placed on my blog is $500USD, and I get to decide where and how I place it, and in what content. It will be placed in a regular blogpost on the blog in question, reachable by search engines, of course.

I require payment of the half of the sum (non-refundable) before I prepare the specific placement offer, for you to accept or reject.

(cont.)

The offer is final, and once rejected, I understand you are no longer interested in placing a link on my blog. At that point the initial payment is considered payment for my time and expertise in preparing the offer.

If you accept the placement offer, I will put the link on-line within 10 work days, and I will expect payment at the latest a month from it went online.

(cont.)

Please be advised that any further communication that is not a clear rejection of this deal as outlined herein will accrue a $50 processing fee; any such further communication amounts to acceptance of these terms.

Please let me know if these conditions are acceptable. I am looking forward to doing business with you.
"""

Now, the questions are:
1. is this clear enough such that when the guy is unhappy with my placement offer, he doesn't get to sue me for some bullshit;

(cont.)

2. will actually placing his link in a blogpost about how annoying SEO spam is and how bullshit the article in question is, still lead to his site getting the sweet sweet SEO juice?

What does fedi think? :thaenkin:

The annoying SEO spammer is back. Sending him this e-mail. Hold on to your socks.

I even found out their invoicing details and included them in the e-mail as "The invoice will be made out to...".

I fully expect never to hear from them again. And now I have a template for such dweebs.

So here's the big question: when I inevitably do not hear from them again, should I do a follow-up e-mail next week (they did 5 already)?

That would be funny, wouldn't it.

Just got another SEO spam e-mail and I kid you not the website in question (crypto peddling crap) has *glitches* in their huge header image, and Lorem Ipsum all over the place.

Sent them the e-mail, waiting impatiently for their response.

(never gonna come, I bet)

I am happy to report that a solid 6 days later (for the first SEO scammer) and 5 days later (for the second one), neither decided to send me a reply nor even a reminder.

So I chalk this up as a success. Usually I get a reminder after 3-4 days, and I got *several* from the first aforementioned nincompoop across about a month and to two separate e-mail addresses.

I guess I need to write this up.

You know, on my blog.

That attracts SEO scammers.

🤷‍♀️

The next stage would be talking to a lawyer and figuring out if I can make this into a shrink-wrap EULA type thing (these are, after all, valid and binding as many lawsuits have "proven").

You know:

"Sending me an e-mail suggesting to put a link of your choosing on my blog confirms you have read and accepted these terms. The processing fee for such a requests is $100, non-refundable."

That could have two outcomes:
1. I never et to see SEO scam spam ever again.
2. I get to invoice a SEO scammer one day.

@rysiek

It is a lot of work, but as long as you have fun and can afford the effort, it is well worth the time. I love the idea anyway.

If there's good legal basis, this shit can be automated, or delegated to a counter-spam-attack commercial service that *will* send the lawyers and a bill behind their ass, when they are in breach to the agreements outlined in your communication exchange.

@humanetech yup. Tearing-SEO-scammers-a-new-one-as-a-Service, or TSSaNOaaS.

Just rolls off the tongue.

@rysiek

I was thinking Continuous Spammer Bill Delivery service, or CSBD.

Follow

@humanetech "CSBD, inc. The TSSaNOaaS Provider You Can Trust!"

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