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r: "do you think this cabinet smells?"

me: "yes... i would have thrown away half the items in here, if i were allowed to."

r: "what?! what do you mean?"

me: "like this jar of expired peanut butter..."

r: "oh, you're not allowed to eat that or throw it away."

me: "see?"

@robey there is a perfectly reasonable explanation for the non-edible non-disposable peanut butter. It's just that our relationship hinges on you not knowing what i use it for.

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