Show more

LIBERTARIAN POLICE DEPARTMENT 

I was shooting heroin and reading “The Fountainhead” in the front seat of my privately owned police cruiser when a call came in. I put a quarter in the radio to activate it. It was the chief.

“Bad news, detective. We got a situation.”

“What? Is the mayor trying to ban trans fats again?”

“Worse. Somebody just stole four hundred and forty-seven million dollars’ worth of bitcoins.”

The heroin needle practically fell out of my arm. “What kind of monster would do something like that? Bitcoins are the ultimate currency: virtual, anonymous, stateless. They represent true economic freedom, not subject to arbitrary manipulation by any government. Do we have any leads?”

“Not yet. But mark my words: we’re going to figure out who did this and we’re going to take them down … provided someone pays us a fair market rate to do so.”

“Easy, chief,” I said. “Any rate the market offers is, by definition, fair.”

He laughed. “That’s why you’re the best I got, Lisowski. Now you get out there and find those bitcoins.”

“Don’t worry,” I said. “I’m on it.”

I put a quarter in the siren. Ten minutes later, I was on the scene. It was a normal office building, strangled on all sides by public sidewalks. I hopped over them and went inside.

“Home Depot™ Presents the Police!®” I said, flashing my badge and my gun and a small picture of Ron Paul. “Nobody move unless you want to!” They didn’t.

“Now, which one of you punks is going to pay me to investigate this crime?” No one spoke up.

“Come on,” I said. “Don’t you all understand that the protection of private property is the foundation of all personal liberty?”

It didn’t seem like they did.

“Seriously, guys. Without a strong economic motivator, I’m just going to stand here and not solve this case. Cash is fine, but I prefer being paid in gold bullion or autographed Penn Jillette posters.”

Nothing. These people were stonewalling me. It almost seemed like they didn’t care that a fortune in computer money invented to buy drugs was missing.

I figured I could wait them out. I lit several cigarettes indoors. A pregnant lady coughed, and I told her that secondhand smoke is a myth. Just then, a man in glasses made a break for it.

“Subway™ Eat Fresh and Freeze, Scumbag!®” I yelled.

Too late. He was already out the front door. I went after him.

“Stop right there!” I yelled as I ran. He was faster than me because I always try to avoid stepping on public sidewalks. Our country needs a private-sidewalk voucher system, but, thanks to the incestuous interplay between our corrupt federal government and the public-sidewalk lobby, it will never happen.

I was losing him. “Listen, I’ll pay you to stop!” I yelled. “What would you consider an appropriate price point for stopping? I’ll offer you a thirteenth of an ounce of gold and a gently worn ‘Bob Barr ‘08’ extra-large long-sleeved men’s T-shirt!”

He turned. In his hand was a revolver that the Constitution said he had every right to own. He fired at me and missed. I pulled my own gun, put a quarter in it, and fired back. The bullet lodged in a U.S.P.S. mailbox less than a foot from his head. I shot the mailbox again, on purpose.

“All right, all right!” the man yelled, throwing down his weapon. “I give up, cop! I confess: I took the bitcoins.”

“Why’d you do it?” I asked, as I slapped a pair of Oikos™ Greek Yogurt Presents Handcuffs® on the guy.

“Because I was afraid.”

“Afraid?”

“Afraid of an economic future free from the pernicious meddling of central bankers,” he said. “I’m a central banker.”

I wanted to coldcock the guy. Years ago, a central banker killed my partner. Instead, I shook my head.

“Let this be a message to all your central-banker friends out on the street,” I said. “No matter how many bitcoins you steal, you’ll never take away the dream of an open society based on the principles of personal and economic freedom.”

He nodded, because he knew I was right. Then he swiped his credit card to pay me for arresting him.

Thoughts about just-in-time learning, and how it has has helped me stay motivated in my career many times.

nikoheikkila.fi/blog/fight-the

It’s , which is cool! Coming out as bi was hard for me, but now how I think of myself internally finally overlaps with how I present myself externally, which lifted a heavy mental burden. It was hard but so, so worth it.

Someone said earlier today that the hardest person you’ll come out *to* is yourself. It was for me, anyway. So if you’re discovering stuff about yourself only now, today is for you, too.

I've been using my new Valco ANC headphones for a couple of days now. I wish I were a dog, so I could tell you about their sound quality other than it's crisp and bassy. A lot more comfortable in the head than my old Bose QC25 and the Bluetooth range and charging time is delightful. Need to test these on meetings next week.

They also plant a tree for every headphone sold, so consider giving these a chance (€149 =~ $175).

valco.io

Career goals.

1) Become a professional jazz musician
2) Fight back nazis with an underground resistance movement

bbc.com/news/world-africa-5433

Season 2 of The Boys is a high definition description of US politics in the Trump era.

A friend of mine who teaches elementary school, taught her class, “don’t yuck my yum”

It was like a class mantra, all the kids knew and understood the phrase. So, if a kid brought a bean burrito for lunch, and another kid said “gross! I hate beans” burrito-kid could just say “don’t yuck my yum”

It became the perfect phrase when one student liked something another student hated it. Quickly, it moved from the tangible (food, smells, textures) to the intangible (music, religion, quality)

By the end of the year “don’t tuck my yum” was woven into the culture of the class. They actually used the phrase LESS by then, because yuckers would check themselves before tearing anyone down.

And that class of second graders moved to third, secure in the knowledge that it’s ok to love the things you love, even if other people don’t.

Finland's Social Insurance Institution is hiring a Java developer. The person in the picture is probably their vision of a programmer: working in a meeting room looking focused or depressed and... using a notebook under the mouse.

I think this describes the position very accurately.

In case you missed it, the recap of my first month as a full-stack developer in Futurice is now also highlighted in our blog.

futurice.com/blog/first-four-w

Imagine contributing to an open-source project where you can just launch the editor from the Code dropdown menu like this. No cloning, installing, or other shenanigans.

Show thread

Got into the GitHub Codespaces beta. After launching a project, it downloaded my synced VS Code settings from the cloud and the experience felt like a local environment without tinkering the settings.

Then I tried to launch a web application with it, which ran perfectly.

Good launch quality! Next I'll do some serious work with this.

Gonna start a campaign for a standard mute button on keyboards and for all video calling apps to support it.

Good day! Have you given any thought about joining the Church of Holy Dudeness on this fine Sunday?

I imagine these boomer uncles won't even send their code in pull requests because they *know* how things work - unlike we millennials.

Today we also set up an organization page for Futurice over at DEV.to. I've cross-posted this article there. dev.to/futurice/first-four-wee

Make sure to follow us there for all the hot tech and design content.

Show thread

These days everyone seems to be rather busy being anti-this and anti-that and anti-everything-in-between.

You know what? I'd rather people tell me what they actually stand *for*, not everything they are *against*.

P.S. We're actively hiring. If this sounds like a place to be, drop me a line, and I'll connect you with the right people.

Show thread
Show more
Mastodon for Tech Folks

This Mastodon instance is for people interested in technology. Discussions aren't limited to technology, because tech folks shouldn't be limited to technology either!