Conservatives: β€œLeftists want to suck out your soul and put it in a super-sexy androgynous machine, and feed you nothing but a healthy diet of soy products, and tuck you in at night with a gentle kiss on the forehead”

I guess the moral is that nothing will ever be as cool as a conservative nightmare

Conservatives: β€œI don’t want to live in a leftist world where I’m forced to be nice or I get punished!”

Me: *full eye contact, slowly tapping a Bible”

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@RobinHood ...so telling them they're free to ignore the rules...

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