A Topcoat of Bonkers @lotus42@mastodon.technology

our precious timeline, forever cursed

for the record, i'm generally in a better mental state than my mastodon posts would portray

The only house I can afford is the item in Final Fantasy I

i once thought "ACAB" was ridiculous

i see how wrong i was

ACAB

need to go back to meditation more... and other forms of self-care.

i don't want to "burn out" this time and feel inclined to use my privilege to ignore what's going on for my own comfort's sake. that changes nothing and perpetuates the problem.

feeling like a few mixed drinks might be on the table for this weekend, just need something to take the edge off.... work's been crazy busy and then the world has just been so heavy (i say from a very privileged position) - but still it's not bad to acknowledge the mental toll this collective negative energy can take on us- though i'm doing what i can to turn it positive.

i should be in bed right now, but events in general have kinda pushed my anxiety/etc to a different point. i can feel it in my body.

(continued)

avoiding the topics is the only thing that's kept our group together- but i also don't like that fact- that it's just okay to let it all slide. sometimes i wonder if i'm going to have to cut that out of my life too.

this isn't really a situation where we can discuss things in a civil manner or that i could potentially help change minds. at least one of the individuals is completely a lost cause- and will loudly change the subject/avoid/shut down the moment a topic is breached

the one group of friends i still hang out with IRL (i don't easily make new friends in-person) are friends from long ago (school, church back when i was religious, etc)....

the problem i'm having is we're all in wildly different places when it comes to politics, current events, etc. and i just don't know how to continue going to our board game night and keeping a straight face

i just.. i don't know anymore. current events make me pre-cringe at things they could say.

reform the police by getting the fuck rid of them

if i do replace my imac i think it's going to be a Hades Canyon NUC + an IPS monitor

The current police response to protests proves everything being said about them. Dismantle the police. Find a new model of public safety to replace them.

Law enforcement officers are just "military without discipline".

wow random huge sciatic pain tonight. no idea why. i haven't had sciatic pain in years. i did lift some heavy stuff today, maybe touched a nerve somewhere

comfort = privilege

cHeCkS aNd bAlAnCeS

so, in addition to all of the police brutality and murders and ongoing institutional racism...

both the military (national guard) and police departments have decided that their response is going to be firing rubber bullets at nurses, uninvolved citizens, press, and others without any provocation. driving vehicles into protesters. threatening people standing on their own property in a residential area.

our fears of ever-increasing authoritarianism were not unfounded

- tried to update to 10.15.5
- failed
- tried again
- failed to the point of not booting, couldn't get into macos recovery, no icon on screen, just backlit blank screen
- smc reset, nothing
- unplugged boot drive, booted to ? screen
- plugged boot drive back in, now back in MacOS, and it says 10.15.5 update was successful

fuck me silly, i think i want to switch OS's

i love that people are trying to bring webrings back. here's a modern one: https://webring.xxiivv.com/

some of my best experiences on the web were random visits to others' blogs and such back in the day

it's hard to find those rabbit holes now, so i'm glad to see them return

inspires me to get my domains/sites up and running. i especially love the focus on text, content, some minimalism, art... the web was the best when it wasn't so full of bullshit

serious profile look wasn't working for me

gotta stick with silly in these Uncertain Times™

was not interested in HBO Max until learning they have most of the Studio Ghibli collection in English and Japanese

Potentially
Horny
Program

more than ever before people do not live in a shared reality. many live in a false conspiratorial reality that they read and watched about online.

sometimes i truly wonder if the good the internet has provided outweighs the bad. that's probably a ratio that proves absolutely impossible to measure.

if you want a fuckload of bad takes about mastodon, just read hacker news comments

free speech absolutists fuck off