TIL in SQL `TIMESTAMP WITH TIMEZONE` is in fact just a timestamp.

On the bright side this is the datatype I actually wanted. Unfortunately I was using `TIMESTAMP WITHOUT TIMEZONE` because I didn't want to store the timezones.

AFAICT the only difference is how they are parsed on input and output. Depending on the type any of converted to UTC, assumed to be UTC or assumed to be in the connection timezone.

For extra confusion TIME types can actually store a timezone, but that is a whole-nother set of bugs

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