Pinned post
Pinned post

I wish computers were as fast as people think they are.

It's the year 2021, and you can't simultaneously delete non-consecutively selected columns in Excel.

(If it is a real music genre, it's currently drowned in search results by furniture companies selling steel bed frames.)

Show thread

Dear elastic.co:

You've got a lot of nerve to be naming a scripting language "Painless".

@kazooboy Like much of modern software, it is optimized for space heating instead of energy saving.

Windows 11's File Explorer is very optimized and by optimized I mean it's melting my CPU trying to unzip a file.

Windows 11 

For a long time, whenever my Win11 laptop rebooted, it would always reset the volume to a barely-audible level, which I found quite annoying.

M$ seems to have fixed that, because last night it (automatically) rebooted for an update, and then reloaded all the web pages I had open... and then I woke up at 3 AM to hear a YouTube Music playlist going at full volume.

LPT: save money on 4k monitors with this weird trick LG doesn't want you to know:

Buy a lower-res monitor and moving it further from your face to make the pixels harder to see. It's like using a high-res monitor but way cheaper!

Tired: "Screening an unknown call..."

Wired: Screaming at unknown calls

I swear to heck, I just saw a loading message on the new tab page for Edge.

fast food 

Some might say it's a bad omen when it takes me three tries to find a Taco Bell that's open, but I'm not one easily deterred by superstition and/or sound reasoning.

I turn on my PC.

The local wildlife are immediately sterilised by the excessive output from my four exposed nuclear reactors running at a critically risky heat output.

The sound of 10,000 cooling fans deafens the city’s morning traffic as my warehouse of 500 parallel-chained AMD Razer Threadrippers bursts into life, forming the equivalent processing power of 2015 in one room.

Nearby, my cluster of Nvidia 5090 Test Cards begins to warp the local time continuum as they calculate answers man was never meant to know.

Very gently, I open Microsoft Teams.

Instantly, the already deafening noise of fans increases to a murderous wail as they try to keep my equipment at operating temperatures. A nuclear reactors’ fusion catches up with its cooling and explodes destroying the lives of millions. The floor begins to melt away as my processors over clocked ten-fold reach critical mass and descend directly into hell. My Nvidia cluster collapses into a singularity and begins to devour the planet.

Quickly now, I open a text chat, it’s a bit laggy.

The sheer struggle of loading some text destroys the remaining systems. Me and my equipment are deleted from reality by an unknown overseer.

Humanity is not ready for instant messaging

Which direction is the smiley supposed to go :gatopensa:

I'm not talking to myself, I'm doing an entirely offline podcast

And always remember: The S in "IoT" stands for: Security

why cant i buy more icloud storage at icloud dot com -_-

Email: "the world of crypto is waiting for you"

Me: "It can wait."

Show older
Mastodon for Tech Folks

This Mastodon instance is for people interested in technology. Discussions aren't limited to technology, because tech folks shouldn't be limited to technology either!