Of all the things I do for love, watching the Eurovision Song Contest every year is probably the most brain melting, soul destroying, horrifically painful.

I'm sure this must be what Meat Loaf was referring to in his 12 minute long opus.

I'm almost frightened to drink alcohol in case I end up enjoying it.

Oh Christ, I'm getting into it now! I'm starting to hope North Macedonia win. Can't think that they've ever won anything before, other than their independence.

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