Of all the things I do for love, watching the Eurovision Song Contest every year is probably the most brain melting, soul destroying, horrifically painful.

I'm sure this must be what Meat Loaf was referring to in his 12 minute long opus.

I'm almost frightened to drink alcohol in case I end up enjoying it.

I see Iceland have transported an entire S&M dungeon to represent them at Eurovision.

Fuck it: I'm breaking the beers out.

I'm thinking Madonna's mere presence has had a rather risquΓ© influence on some of the performers at this years Eurovision. Just as well it's on after the watershed.

Oh dear Madonna, oh dear, oh dear, oh dear...

Why did you even bother to turn up?

What pissed me off most is I really enjoy Like a Prayer, well, the album version anyway.

Oh Christ, I'm getting into it now! I'm starting to hope North Macedonia win. Can't think that they've ever won anything before, other than their independence.

Good on Hatari! There had to be a Palastinian protest somewhere. At least they kept it for after the performance.

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