It is known that the gravest insult you can give to a vampire is "Chocula." However, this word was only coined in 1971 with the release of Count Chocula cereal. Prior to this year, it would have been impossible to employ the slur.
Only one Belmont is known to have lived after 1971: Julius Belmont, the one who finally defeated Dracula for good. I posit that this is not a coincidence. Julius called Dracula a Chocula, and it fucking killed him.
my great-grandfather worked in a whoop-ass cannery. a gentle man by disposition, he'd come home with little flecks - we'd call 'em microaggressions nowadays - clinging to his face around the edges of where he'd been wearing his safety goggles. he felt bad that you could hardly get a kind word out of him until he'd had a bath, but it kept food on the table and a roof over their heads
before the invention of canning, they would make whoop-ass by gathering an assortment of leftover beatings, grinding them, salting them heavily, and stuffing them into pig's intestines or fish, then packing them tightly into an oak barrel and burying them in the cold earth to ferment for 18 months. opening up a cask of whoop-ass was a community event
Here is a website that I love: https://www.pitt.edu/~dash/folktexts.html "Folktexts," an academic collection of primary sources of folklore, categorized thematically so that different versions of the same story are grouped together.
Bryan, Bryan, Bryan, Bryan
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