Davey Shafik 🦁🐉🏳️‍🌈 @dshafik@mastodon.technology

HALP! I'm being smothered by Pillow

This debate is literally unwatchable… not because it's two old white dudes arguing, but because the chyron doesn't line up, why do you do this to us @CNN@twitter.com ?!

Thanks @VZWSupport@twitter.com for sending your daily travel notices in a time zone (EST) that is neither my home (PST) or travel time zone (GMT). Super useful.

Alright twitter, how's this work? Is it just a placebo? Is it because of the two prong plug maybe providing power on one prong? I expect a detailed answer alongside a ELI5 answer by the time I land.

Y'all, I went to an Elton John laser show tonight, it was a blast! This was far from the coolest effect, but I didn't want to distract anyone even if video was allowed (without flash, screen at its lowest brightness).

Today, me and 58 others from 32 countries including Iran and Iraq, became US Citizens! 🇺🇸🎉

Now, let's vote @realDonaldTrump@twitter.com out!

At my happy place… Pine State Biscuits in Portland. #ReggieDeluxe

Kids toys are… different.

Well… that's it. #PHP 7.1 is now EOL. It's hard to believe it has already been three years. Being RM has been a honor, but really, the kudos belongs to my co-RM @krakjoe@twitter.com and also the other RMs for stepping in when life got too busy. If you are interested in being RM: do it! ❤️

Have you ever been on a train engrossed in your phone and looked up only to be convinced you're now traveling in the wrong direction? That.

I put this together for your Slacks, use as you wish: :raise-pride:

You may have noticed I have a new avatar. I think it might be a little too provocative for a social media avatar, but damn it, it’s probably the best photo of me I’ll ever take. Also, the iPhone 11 Pro front camera is ridic; I took it in a shitty hotel in NYC. #sexyandIknowit

After the third time getting disconnected from @VZWSupport@twitter.com live chat, this happened. Pretty good affordance TBH…

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Is anyone interested in my EV buying decision spreadsheet? I tried to quantify all the things that mattered to me to give me a pros/cons score on which to buy. Collaboration is welcome too! :)

Wow, @PlayOverwatch@twitter.com on Nintendo Switch looks identical to PC/Console!

Uh. It got worse. #fog

I walk out to this foggy scene and immediately get hit in the face by a fucking spider web. Fuck this morning. 🔥🕷

macOS Catalina comes with Mac Catalyst: because @Twitter@twitter.com was too lazy to build Twitter for Mac.

Y'all. Y'ALL. Look at my cat, he's the best. He's ~14 years old, and loves me the most. So lucky to have this boy 😍

Getting ready for my first day… 💅🏼 #treatyoself