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good morning, the “I know nothing else” bird is trying to break into standup

good morning, here’re some handy instructions from Beatrice Arthur about what to do if a nearby unicorn has started choking

good morning to the baddest video game peripheral of all time

good morning and good luck to my fellow Canadians in the big election tomorrow [cw can pol]

good morning. 31 years on this earth and I’m still wrapping my head around all this spelling nonsense.

good morning, just hanging out with my new best friend [selfie no ec]

good morning – lately I’ve been making “overnight oats” for breakfast, feeling both old and young [cw food]

Good morning, we had a fun Halloween party last night [cw spooky selfie with eye contact]

‘morning, I gave a meetup talk last night, with a colour-coordinated outfit 👕

good morning to everyone but Kierkegaard, who can fuck all the way off, hey

good morning. I've been having a tough time lately, and this reminder helped me. maybe it'll help you too :heart:

good morning, the new iPhone’s wide-angle camera is 😙👌


(I stole this from twitter but can’t find the op, sorry!)

good morning, Dave! gosh, get outta my pants lol 😳🥰😇

people ask if cats actually do love their owners and the answer is yes: once they start seeking out your dirty clothes to sleep on, that’s when they love you.

You, a gormless fool: “Mario Paint was the height of Nintendo’s peripheral game.”
Me, overflowing with gorm: “Now you’re knitting with power.”

Good morning. My watch said that if I went for a run on thanksgiving then I’d get a little badge, and so I did, and so here it is.

good morning, I tried to impress the giant magical goose, but,,

good morning, nyc finally got some snow the other day ❄️

good morning, get a load of my twelve perfect, equally-sized balls [cw food]

Good morning! What if,, hedonism, but for the mattresses? I’d call that... [cw ec]

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@ashfurrow I realize the Trapper Keeper edition will be in high demand, but I'm holding out for the Lisa Frank edition

@secstate meanwhile, I am holding out for the Lisa _Simpson_ edition

@ashfurrow our cafeteria STILL uses cups with that exact print on them.

you, naive: "Apple popularized the selfie cam and home printing"
me, an intellectual:

@ashfurrow oh my god i thought this was an incredibly clever edit or something

i can't believe it was real

never released, but still real

1. Is this album available for download?
2. I've quit smoking, so is it acceptable to vape while listening to it instead?

@ashfurrow [Croc Dundee voice] That's not a pipe. This is a pipe |

@ashfurrow KaZaA was much better! (on getting viruses and unexpected porn videos)

@ashfurrow ooh is that the creepy Telecom building in NY?

@annika you might recall an article about the building from The Intercept a few years ago – “Titanpointe” – photos from that article were taken from our office.

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