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Hello! I am @andrewt and I have registered this side account so I can kvetch about tech without boring everyone who cares not one jot about it.

another clear victory for git, well done everyone, let's just keep using this tool exactly as is forever

πŸ”₯ If you're experimenting with functions and can't be bothered to install a test framework you can use Golang-style table-driven testing.

Useful and easy to convert to real test code if needed.

Example in TypeScript. πŸ‘‡

can anyone pick up jira ticket OW-315

the old woman has swallowed a fly

this one's urgent everyone so we don't want a full refactor here, just a quick patch to get things moving again, don't worry about the details, we can fix it properly once everything's under control again

The hardest part of working on this app is telling which madness can be safely fixed and which madness is mission-critical load-bearing madness.

some days it feels like every ticket is just "we've got this weird bug can you look into it" and the cause is always "the codebase is completely batshit" and the fix is always to change one function parameter and add a comment that's just nine shrug emoji

We've had this box since Christmas, but we can't recycle it bcs the cat sits in it whenever someone is at the kitchen table and makes whatever this face is

Honestly, does anyone know what the justification for this rule might be?

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I sure don't resent spending a day and a half in code review for one ticket on a project with a class called "Analitics"!

To celebrate (read: "mock") the new Bond film, I've written some code to generate future Bond titles.

β€’ Nip Die In The Bud
β€’ A Sandwich Short Of A Gold
β€’ Wild Die Chase
β€’ Gold In The Ointment
β€’ Put The Gold Among The Pigeons
β€’ Die (something) In The Bud
β€’ Shooting Gold In A Barrel
β€’ Take With A Grain Of Die
β€’ You Can Say Gold Again
β€’ Gold Brain
β€’ Gold In A Blue Moon
β€’ From A To Gold
β€’ Gold Line And Die
β€’ By The Skin Of One's Gold
β€’ Bite Off More Than One Can Die
β€’ Die Gold

Increase test coverage by golfing your untested code.

I've written this style of SQL handler for every Node project I've done. Finally got around to making a stand-alone version, so here it is.


const [ user ] = await sql`SELECT * FROM users WHERE id = ${ id }`;


Generates prepared statements behind the scenes so you don't have to mess about escaping things.

Oh yeah:

β€’ Dell's "reformat the disk and reinstall Windows from the secret backup partition" was totally fine with Windows sharing a disk with Linux and Grub. Just did not give a shit and got on with things. We love to see it.

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β€’ Setting up a new OS is a really good use case for a voice interface and I honestly liked it.
β€’ I was baffled for a while how it knew my wallpaper and weird taskbar settings. (I keep it down the left because Ubuntu and because why have it on the long side of a 16:9 screen?) Obviously it had just synched my settings to the cloud.

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Observations from having to wipe & reinstall the two-year-old factory version of Windows 10 tonight:

β€’ It was way less pretty back then.
β€’ It comes with a 5-day trial of Office 2016 that opens IE to buy.
β€’ It was easy once in recovery mode but getting there without a working OS was blind stumbling.
β€’ It did not accept it was genuine for ages.
β€’ The way Microsoft use "genuine" to mean "proven genune" is a bit offensive.
β€’ I wish it had taken Ubuntu down too. I kinda want to start again on that.

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