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Hello! I am @andrewt and I have registered this side account so I can kvetch about tech without boring everyone who cares not one jot about it.

I hate the word 'sync'. It splits the word halfway through a consonant β€” but if you spell it 'synch' it looks like 'cinch' because really, how often do you see 'cinch' written down. But then people write 'synced' and come on, can we not have the h in there?

the code is full of comments that say

// COLIN

but it's not me responding to the code, it's colin doing some weird aide-memoire

(his name isn't colin, i changed it)

like we have a bug in our offline dynamodb stub that could modify objects after returning them, which to be fair was my fault, maybe because i didn't think anyone would get, patch and update the same object in one request (but rollbacks do).

but given the option of fixing it or treating it as an immutable fact of nature and writing a hundred lines of buggy production code to work around it i just can't fathom the mindset that chooses the latter

My job this morning: explaining to a co-worker that there is no way a real database can return data before you input it.

my team:

"well if *I* had to dig through the legacy PHP code to work out how to do this then it's only fair that everyone else does too"

*writes an abstraction layer so thin that it ladders when the underlying system walks past a twig*

Jargon proposal: surburban architecture.

Each module of your codebase is analogous to a family household. Obviously they're all completely bonkers internally, but when the other modules are around the good china comes out and they're on their best behaviour.

You need to store the same data in XML and Json for different cache layers? Fine, no problem, behind closed doors you do you, but we do NOT talk about it in front of the Login-Pages, we are a RESPECTABLE module thankyou very much.

This is an interesting thing from Flow:

It's happy to index objects by unknown strings, because I guess blocking it would be annoying more often than it's useful, but if you have a validation check in there for a specific set of data then it *will* check for those keys.

Very nice bit of code, that.

ugh, just been pinged by the fifth opsgenie alert in three on-call rotations and all of them are nothing

like i'm not against being on call in principle but some firms use it to patch rush-jobs caused by shit management and we apparently use it to wake devs up for no reason for some kind of uptime theatre?

well it can fuck off

Give me the confidence of NPM.

"Sorry, I didn't quite catch that. This is probably not a problem with Andrew. Try enunciating better next time."

can't believe they let me try a preview model of the new mac pro

a fantasy world where all the techbro wizards don't know how to do any spells except by summoning this one demon who they've enchanted to conjure up a pocket universe wherein four imps will build a complex system of runes and inscriptions in which a goblin will finally step and say a magic word that the wizard could have said in the first place if they knew what they were fucking doing, anyway i've been installing ruby gems today, how are you

ah what, someone on slack just thanked someone else for their help "restarting the server on the master branch" and now i'm scared that they've definitely done *something* but definitely *haven't* understood what it was they did because that sequence of words doesn't correspond to any real-world activity.

update: our third-party's oauth screen has a 'cancel' button and an 'authorise' button and *they both grant access*

i mean it's not that big an issue because who's pressing 'cancel' β€” it's like visiting a porn site and pressing the 'no i'm not 18 please take me to yahoo dot com' button β€”Β but really how does that happen

like is it so much to ask for people to think about how their changes affect different parts of the same 28-line file?

Oh great, someone has decided to use the `title` attribute to style things and not, say, `id` or `class`. So now our code is strange *and* we have a big dumb tooltip all over our setup page. Thanks, guys!

Ah great, if I remove the 'throw new Error()' then Flow is upset that the implicitly returned undefined isn't a T, but if I leave it in then the linter is upset that it's unreachable.

britpol but just barely; game Show more

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