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Hello! I am @andrewt and I have registered this side account so I can kvetch about tech without boring everyone who cares not one jot about it.

I made a live wallpaper collection for Android phones. (Let me know if you want a freebie, it's not like a big old business model I have going on here.)

google: "Our AI is so advanced it will predict what you need and serve it up just when you need it."

also google: "We noticed you spent ten hours overnight in a place very very near your home address, where were you, we can't work it out."

tech is just people who don't understand the words we already have bloody-mindedly making up new ones

My twitter account just got suspended for 'threatening & abusive behavior' because I used the figure of speech "a hill to die on"

i feel like there are certain people on this team who don't understand that some code producing the correct output is a necessary but not sufficient condition for going into the codebase.

"Shhh, shhh, it's okay", I say to the Linux kernel after it panics.

me: what's this logic for?
coworker who wrote it: it makes one of the things work
me: but it's crazy
coworker: if you delete it, things will break
me: which things?
coworker: don't know
me: i really want to delete it
coworker: things will break
me: at least then we'll know what it's for

me: hey did you know our app does this ridiculous thing?
coworker: yes
me: …
me: …why?
coworker: because the old version did it
me: remind me again why we're building a new one?

The office next to ours sounds like it's the setting of a sub-par Michael Schur sitcom.

I tell myself I'm clever but here I am annoyed at bash for failing to tab-complete the name of the directory I'm asking it to create.

when the boss tells us to deprioritize fixing tech debt "so we can ship more product features"

The more tech marches on the more I think actually we will have humanoid androids eventually.

Dishwashers can't stack themselves. Coffee machines can't clean themselves (well). A humanoid robot is a ridiculous extravagance, but so is the CPU in your telephone and that happened.

developers are weird, imagine putting wallpaper on your desk top, it's just anarchy

*us-west-1 voice* We have always been at war with us-east-1.

Trust me computer, that's a feature, not an error.

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Mastodon for Tech Folks

This Mastodon instance is for people interested in technology. Discussions aren't limited to technology, because tech folks shouldn't be limited to technology either!

We adhere to an adapted version of the TootCat Code of Conduct and follow the Toot CafΓ© list of blocked instances. Ash is the admin and is supported by Fuzzface as a moderator.

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