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I wanna puke. I drank too much. I wish he person i trust would help me.

What I need?

Someone who will host me and help me, in a genuine way, and commit to me.

I think this will never happen. Its because I’m so worthless.

I feel it when she reads my messages.

I never want this type of connection to another again.

β€œI keep forgettin’ we’re not in love anymore.”

I am, anyway.

Also: respect other person’s boundaries. But never expect them to meet yours. That’s β€œunreasonable”.

I wish I hadn’t promised to eliminate myself.

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The lesson we should all learn: relationships are always. Always. ALWAYS. Ephemeral.

Forever lasts no longer than 14 or 63 days, depending on the person.

β€œHold me so I’m not falling apart.”

Only if you are worthy. There is no such thing as unconditional love. People hate you and won’t change. They just lead you along for forever until they decide they’re more important than you are.

β€œI need a little love tonight.”

Guess what? We don’t deserve that.

I wish I wasn’t a night person. So many alone and sleepless hours.

And I’m scared. I’m so disabled as to be dependent, and my closest people apparently hate me.

I feel so lonely. And I can’t make it go away. I just wanna be held.

All of β€œdancing with a stanger” less the dancing with a stranger part.

Whatever. I’m gonna do what I’ve done for most of the last two weeks: cry until I fall asleep or the sun comes up.

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