How do you fight depression and the constant anxiety of being a burden on those around you, and dealing with people getting angry at you for being down? I always feel like I'm the result of everyone around me being upset, and often am the cause for it. It's a very difficult feeling where there's usually no real way out. I tend to try divert my feelings into doing something creative with my time. Craving sleep and wishing the days away also seems to be all I do.
It's really hard to be someone people love or enjoy spending time with when you're suffering from depression and anxiety. Even harder when these issues aren't seen as 'real' and often tried to be distilled as being the cause of something else which they're trying to solve. There's no real way out, and it sucks.
@JPEG A wonderfull pastor once said to me, when I had to go to hospital because of panic attacks and depression: "When You break Your leg, everyone sees it and understands, that You can't act how You would like to. Depression is not sightable, so people who do not reflect or just are not able to understand, that You are just not able to act how they expect You to do,will let You fell bad." I think, she is right. I had to learn then, that despite my depression I am a fully wonderfull person. And that is what You are.
@balouqlc I really appreciate this, and it does help me understand things from a broader perspective. It often does come own to the cycle where those around get frustrated at you for not behaving the way they expect, and often this frustration is taken out on you, and ends up adding to it all.
@JPEG I know that situation too well! Rember, when my partner prepared a great meel for both of us and invited others for lunch. I couldn't hav them around and had to send them away. All I felt after that was guilt. Far later I had to understand, that I wasn't guilty at all. All I was was ill.
@balouqlc Thank you for speaking about your own experiences, it really helps in making me see that it's a shared experience and I'm not alone. Your experience definitely resonates with instances I've encountered, where people around are trying to help and doing what they genuinely believe is helping, but maybe just doesn't align with the help that we personally want instead.
@JPEG However, I think, that we hav to share our situation with folks, because as I said, depression can not bee seen by people. It is a long process to get the courage to talk about it openly. But it is the first stap to get out of the destroying circle. BTW: Thanks for following bad. I am just afraid, that You get bored by my toots, because most of my stuff is written in german.
@balouqlc This is very true, otherwise it remains silent and affects people who also see no way out. Talking about it is really daunting for the most part, especially with people close to you who it may impact and make them feel like their not doing good enough. And no worries, I can translate it as I go along. :)
It's one of the big misunderstandings about the difference between being sad and suffering from a depression: When You're "just sad", sometimes all it takes is being around the right people to cheer You up.
People who try apply the same method and subconsciously expect to help someone who fights with a depression are bound to be frustrated when it doesn't work...
@tetrapyloctomist @balouqlc Agreed, this is very true. I often think of it akin to weather and climate, where weather is what happens in a localised environment for a short period of time, whereas climate is bigger and can't be changed in one go by one action. Although I may be wrong in this analogy.
@JPEG this is a huge mood that I experience regularly. I can DM a bunch of the stuff that therapy has helped me build up if you want?
Not being a burden only works in good professional company.
Most "dear" aren't skilled to their emotions, reflections of and what burden they put onto those, they believe to care.
@hamjb This is very true, and makes sense. Kind of need someone in a professional capacity to see past the attachment which derives from those who are close.
@shahaan @hamjb I think what's deterred me most in the past up to now has been the stigma of having a therapist (which if others found out would automatically make them think things like 'but he has nothing to be upset about', 'why does he need a therapist', 'I can do what his therapist does', 'why didn't he talk to me instead', etc), and all of the pressure just adds another thing.
@JPEG @hamjb Oh, I totally get all of these. But think of it this way: 1) None is these people can help you in any professional capacity like a trained therapist can. 2) The benefits you will gain from seeing one will likely outweigh the stigma and over time if you feel better you’ll have proved them wrong and they’ll see it, possibly changing their minds about stigmatizing it. 3) Everyone needs a therapist. Seriously. 🙂😄
@JPEG I’m sorry you’re feeling this way. You’re not alone. I’ve had these feelings too. Having people get angry at me for being down is so toxic because it just adds frustration to the mix. I find that whenever I start down that path it helps me to check my feelings with an internal dialogue where I ask myself to find the root cause of those feelings. It also helps me to go out somewhere like on a grocery run or to the local coffee shop and just be away from people who might aggravate me more.
@shahaan I really appreciate this. I agree with it all too. I find that changing the environment and going out are a massive help, but tend to be short-lived, and the cycle that existed before it kicks in again afterwards anyways. It's a hard thing to get out of when everything else around you remains constant.
@JPEG This is true. And in such a case I would highly recommend seeking out professional help, if available. Talking to lay people may certainly be helpful but be careful because not everyone knows how to help. Sometimes those closest to us can end up doing harm unintentionally because they are trying to help in the wrong way.
@shahaan I agree with this wholeheartedly. I might take the step to seek out professional help if I can. Thank you for this.
@JPEG You’re most welcome and I hope you feel better. If you want, do let me know how it goes or if you find something else that helps you. 🙂
@JPEG Try to look at your emotional state in a different way. I believe HARVARD UNIV. did a study on HI IQ people, in the last 25 years, and found that many very intelligent people often are more on the depressive side. Maybe you perceive more than the average, naive, more happy than not person does, like the Harvard study explained...
@MonogamousMetal This is a good way of thinking about things, to look at it from different perspectives. Thank you.
@JPEG I know that feeling.
When I've encountered such issues, radical detach helped me a lot. I sat at home alone, disabled electric light, and lighted candles. I read book with candles around me, then took guitar and improvised for some time. The next day I felt much better. You can try this, it may work for you.
But even I'd it won't work for you, you must always remember that you so great things.
@alexcleac That's a great suggestion and I often find it helps me too to detach myself from everything and do some self-care. But it's much more difficult when people around don't allow you to be left alone. Thank you for sharing this.
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